Picture the scene if you dare. We went for a walk around Cannon Hall grounds and gardens, a late 19th century house belonging the Spencer-Stanhope family. It's a beautiful place. Half way round I needed a pee, so I went into the gents.

There was one long stainless steel urinal and one normal-ish looking bloke with a beard wearing a M & S type jacket also having a pee. As you do, I went as far to the other end as possible. As soon as I'd released "Eric" from the Calvin Kleins, normal-ish looking bloke with beard wearing M & S jacket immediately looked round and focussed on my old man. What the hell? Why do some blokes do that? Was it a case of "Oooh, what our lass would do for one like that?" or "Ha ha, call that a cock?" I suppose I'll never know. But why the hell did he want to look at another man's penis in the first place? The dirty bearded bastard.

I looked him squarely in the eye trying to look as nasty as possible but he just looked away as though it was perfectly normal. He put whatever he'd been fiddling about with, back in his trousers and walked out without washing his hands. Not only was he a piss voyeur, he was also a dirty bastard. No matter whether I washed my hands or not, I still had to open the door using the same handle that dirty git had used to open it with with the same hand he'd been groping around in his underpants with. And I bet he was walking hand in hand with his dearly beloved as well, and then she made the salad at home without washing her hands and they both got salmonella poisoning and wondered why. Amen.

I washed my hands, used the Made in USA hand drier, which would probably struggle to reach 1 on the Beaufort Scale, then used a tissue to open the door then chucked it the lollipop bin outside.
Why DO some blokes look at other bloke's genitals? And when they are having a pee as well? Are there more perverts and George Michael style banana benders around than originally thought or is it jealousy by prostate sufferers that you manage to finish your pee before they've even started theirs and they need to see the evidence?

I wonder what his wife would have said if I'd hit him with "Why were you staring at my cock in the gents?"